Crying is a universal, innately human experience that can be triggered by emotions or external situations. Whether you’re moved by a heart-wrenching scene in a movie, crying with laughter, crying in pain or overcome by achieving a personal milestone, there are many things that bring on the waterworks. We surveyed the nation to uncover what makes people reach for the tissues the most.
What brings on the waterworks?
Emotions, emotions, emotions
Our emotions play a big role in why we cry. But it’s more than just an emotional outlet; it's a complex response to a range of feelings and serves different purposes depending on the trigger. Tears of sadness help release built-up emotions and are a natural part of the grieving process. On the other hand, joyful tears often emerge to balance overwhelming happiness and maintain emotional equilibrium. Whether it's sorrow, joy, frustration, or relief, there are countless scenarios that can bring us to the brink of tears.
Sad sobs
Built-up emotion can often result in tears, and it can be incredibly cathartic to cry when sad. But what makes us cry the most? Well, sadly, the death of a loved one is the most significant trigger, affecting 77% of respondents. The loss of someone we love can feel completely overwhelming and crying serves as a healthy release for the intense sorrow and sense of loss that occurs. For many of us, pets are a cherished part of the family, so when our furry friends pass away it’s no surprise that it brings 51% of Brits to tears too as they mourn the loss of them. Crying can be psychologically healing, providing a sense of relief and catharsis, alleviating emotional pain and bringing a temporary sense of calm while you process the shock of the loss.
Stress is another major factor, causing just over half (51%) of Brits to cry. Whether it’s from work, family troubles, financial pressure or the general responsibilities of being an adult, life
is filled with stressors that can push you to tears. And when stress reaches a peak, having a good cry can provide a much-needed emotional release.
Stress is also the second biggest cause of crying for women, with 63% saying they’ve cried when stressed. Tight deadlines, mean colleagues and rude customers are just some of the issues people face during their 9-5 so it’s no surprise that work is one of the biggest stress-causers. This is especially true for women as 40% stated that work has made them cry over the past 12 months. Crying can help to provide a psychological reset, helping to clear the mind and provide some emotional clarity to help tackle problems that cause stress.
It's not just traumatic experiences that bring on the waterworks. Frustration is another common, yet underestimated trigger for crying, and takes fourth place on the list. Frustration usually occurs when things don’t go as planned and can arise in response to minor inconveniences or major setbacks. It could also explain why one in ten men stated that they have cried because their favourite football team has lost.
Shedding happy tears
It’s not just pain and frustration that can make the tears stream down our cheeks. When we experience intense joy or relief, the body can respond with tears too. While it can be a puzzling response, it can bring a sense of emotional balance to such intense positive feelings and can help regulate our emotions. And it turns out that captivating stories are the culprit that make us happy cry the most with 57% of respondents admitting happy endings and moving moments in films bring them to tears.
And like movies, second place goes to TV shows. Bingeable boxsets have us sniffing with 38% of Brits stating that they’ve happily cried over a TV show before. Movies and TV shows can create an immersive experience that allows us to form deep bonds with characters as we go along their journeys with them. We experience their triumphs and tragedies and everything in between, so we shed tears with them.
Bringing new life into the world is a momentous and joyous occasion that can spark truly overwhelming feelings of love, happiness and relief at their safe delivery. So, it’s no wonder that 37% of Brits who have witnessed the arrival of a newborn found it to be a life-changing moment that led to tears of joy.
Top tear-jerkers
Movies have a unique way of pulling at our heartstrings and make us reach for the tissues to wipe away fallen tears. It’s skillfully done through a combination of compelling storytelling, evocative music and stellar performances that draw us into the fictional world. Through these stories we often recognise parts of ourselves in characters on the big screen, making their victories and defeats feel like our own. This potent mix of elements is why we cry when watching movies. But what makes one person cry like a baby, and another sit dry-eyed in the seat next to you is highly personal.
But which cinematic masterpieces make us cry the most? Well, taking the top spot is Titanic which chokes up 29.8% of Brits. This epic romance set against the backdrop of dramatic historical tragedy is heart-wrenching. And whether you believe there was enough room on the door for the both of them or not, Jack’s death and Rose’s promise to him is something that generations will be talking about. Women in particular feel the sting of the loss as 37% stated the movie made them cry.
Writers can wipe out a slew of main characters and no one bats an eyelid, but a pet dying will have people up in arms. It could be why 29.3% of respondents admitted to crying during Marley & Me – a touching story about a family and their neurotic but loveable Labrador. The heartfelt farewell at the end of the film perfectly shows the bond between humans and their pets, which makes many of us spill tears as we remember our own furry friends.
The third-placed movie that has Brits in tears is The Green Mile with 28.3% of respondents stating they sobbed during the film. The combination of John Coffey’s miraculous healing abilities with his innocence, gentle nature and the serious injustices he faces evokes deep empathy from viewers. The concoction of hope, tragedy and moral questioning that the film explores is a one-way ticket to tears. This movie is also most likely to make men cry as a quarter admitted to shedding a tear.
Songs to sob to
Whether it’s love, loss, loneliness or a bad breakup, these universal experiences are often the muse for music, which in turn can have a remarkable impact on our emotions. The right melody, lyric or arrangement can resonate deeply and have tears stinging eyes in no time. It’s something that many of us go through as the popularity of “crying playlists” which feature tracks specifically chosen for their tear-jerking abilities demonstrates.
One of the most frequent fliers on the crying playlists is Tom Rosenthal’s Lights Are On as it features on a whopping 101 playlists out of a total of 990. It’s not hard to see why. The gentle melody, poignant lyrics about vulnerability and human connection, as well as Rosenthal’s ethereal voice is a lethal combination for your feelings.
Joint second place goes to Heather by Conan Gray and Another Love by Tom Odell. These songs are staples on crying playlists with a score of 99 for very different reasons. The former tells a story about unrequited love and longing and the latter explores the heartache that comes with trying to move on from a past relationship. These songs provide a cathartic experience for people who are dealing with similar experiences.
Some artists are better at stirring our emotions with powerful lyrics and moody melodies than others. So, they feature a lot more across the crying playlists. It turns out that the go-to artist for those seeking a cathartic release is Billie Eilish. Out of the top 100 songs, the musician claims nine spots, with a combined total of 608 appearances across various “cry” playlists. With songs like when the party’s over and everything I wanted showcases her signature blend of haunting melodies and evocative lyrics.
Our expert says
Our professional services optician, Nimmi Mistry, explains the benefits tears have on our eyes.
Crying not only serves an emotional purpose but is a vital to overall eye health. By acting as a defense mechanism, reflex tears (reflex lacrimation) wash away and chemically neutralizes potential threats to the tear film such as debris and foreign bodies.
Not only does this protect the outer-most surface of the eye (cornea), but aids in soothing dryness and irritation caused by pollutants. In addition, the tears fight against infection as they contain antibacterial enzymes and antibodies such as lysozyme.
Crying can be hard on the body, particularly your eyes. Here are some tips to help reduce the strain on your eyes when the tears flow:
- Avoid rubbing your eyes: It can be tempting to rub your eyes to wipe away tears but doing so can irritate the delicate skin around the eyes and even lead to scratches on the cornea if
rubbing aggressively. Instead, gently blot your eyes with a soft tissue.
- Stay hydrated: Tears are composed of mostly water so staying hydrated ensures that your tear film structure remains balanced and reduces the risk of dry eyes,
- Use a cold compress: Applying a cold compress to your eyes can help reduce swelling and soothe irritation. This is helpful if you’ve been crying for a prolonged period.
The psychology behind crying
We enlisted the help of psychotherapist, Sonal Thakrar, to uncover the psychology behind crying, the mental benefits it has and our attitudes towards shedding tears.
Sonal Tharkrar – Integrative Psychotherapist
Sonal Thakrar MSc, BSc (Hons), Clin.Dip. UKCP (Reg). MBACP is an Integrative Psychotherapist, Counsellor and Trainer based in the UK. She has worked and volunteered in a variety of settings including charities, corporations, education and private practice. A major focus of her work has been around identity, culture and sexuality, and helping her clients to develop healthy coping skills and relationships.
Why do we cry?
“Crying is a natural biopsychosocial response. If we think back to our earliest memories, we will most likely remember a time when we cried. Crying is part of our human experience from infancy and signals that we are in emotional overload and pain. There are many different reasons why we cry, especially when we feel powerless or helpless, unable to solve a problem or when we have lost someone important to us. The positive reasons we cry are nearly always the opposite of the well-known negative triggers that evoke crying (e.g., death– birth, separation–reunion, defeat–victory, conflict–harmony).”
What are the mental and physical health benefits of crying?
“Emotional tears are released from our lacrimal glands. They help to communicate feelings when words aren’t enough. If our tears could speak, they would reveal the range of emotions that we carry. Crying can provide relief and gives us an outlet and way of expressing feelings such as sadness, rage, anger, frustration, fear and happiness. Research also tells us that when we cry, our brain releases endorphins and oxytocin. These are our natural painkillers and help to relieve emotional distress and physical pain. Showing our vulnerability to others is also a signal that often invites empathy and comfort. Essentially crying is a way for us to self-soothe and feel better.”
Do you think attitudes to crying are changing?
“In short, yes. We are questioning gender and cultural norms when it comes to emotional expression. This plays a significant role in our individual and collective mental health. It's common to view crying as a sign of vulnerability, leading to feelings of shame. Our attitudes are shaped by our personal beliefs about crying. I think this is where the real change is – to challenge our beliefs around crying, understand where they have come from and whether they still hold true. People frequently apologise for crying, but I believe it's time to stop saying sorry for expressing our emotions.”
Methodology
This survey was conducted with a pool of 2,000 UK respondents via Pollfish.
Music data was scraped from Spotify.
Whether it’s the ups and downs of life, our emotions getting the better of us, or a heartwarming movie, tears serve as a powerful outlet for our feelings. Understanding why we cry and what the triggers are can help us appreciate the complex ways in which our mind and body process emotions. Whether you’re embracing sad or happy tears, UK contact lens wearers need to keep the lenses in mind. It doesn’t matter if they’re reusable contact lenses or daily contact lenses - proper care can help manage any discomfort when tears spontaneously erupt.